"That's what I do, I drink and I know things." - My boy Tyrion Lannister.
So when Game of Thrones first aired I was in law school living in Lansing, Michigan. The upcoming show was highly anticipated, so I gave it a shot. I watched the first episode and my attention was not caught until Jamie Lannister, who I of course didn't know was Jaime Lannister at the time, pushed Bran (him either, lol) out of the window. I had no earthly idea that Robert Baratheon was crazy as hell and The Lannister family was beyond ruthless and Jaime and Cersai were twins and shared three children.
Well damn.
I'm sure had I known that back then I would have been a loyal GoT'er like most of the population, but hey, I guess I didn't need the distraction at that time.
So without further ado, this is my personal love letter to Game of Thrones, especially my boo Jon Snow (Aegon Taygyaren I mean, sorry Shuggie lol).
First off, the fact that Ned Stark got unjustly decapitated in the first season but remained a significant staple throughout the whole 8 seasons says a lot. Real Ninja in the room.
Ned Stark, the Real MVP.
The Red Wedding devastated me just about as much as it did everyone else. It was another reminder that in the GoT, aint nobody safe.
When I say the Starks got hit with the okie doke I mean! The Starks got hit with the okie doke! Dude let these folks get comfortable as hell just to slaughter the whole fleet on behalf of the Lannister's and his own revenge.
In the words of the Old Kanye, "How could you be so hearless?!"
Then the new wife was all cute and pregnant and Robb truly loved and respected her and Mom Dukes Caitlyn was tryna accept it, but unfortunately it did not work out very well for them in the end. Caitlyn was however, the real G in the end. She peeped MAJOR GAME as soon as that beat dropped.
YAAASSSSS for Mom Dukes, but unfortunately, the mighty had to fall.
RIP Caitlyn, Robb, Baby Moms/ Wifey, and baby Eddard.
Now, my lil sis Arya is Nothing. To. Play. With. Period.
From the time she was a little girl to the time she was a teenager lol, she had a beast in her. Real Ninja in the room once again.
Arya was a fighter. No matter the circumstance, location, temporary blindness, crazy murderous girl following her around trying to assassinate her, the hound kidnapping her for ransom and slick becoming her best friend, I mean damn the list goes on and on!
Then to top it all off, she unapologetically made it her business to kill the Queen.
Like dead ass, everyone who asked her where she was going, she said, " I'm going to kill the Queen" without blinking an eye. Unfortunately, she never got that opportunity, but I think it's fair to say the amount of killing she did do would suffice. I'm just saying. Arya for the win.
Sansa Stark. I liked Sansa, a little. She definitely learned quickly to watch what you wish for because she thought she wanted to be a Queen and live in King's Landing until she soon found out what that actually meant. I definitely admire her smarts and ability to survive, especially Ramsey, he should have had his own Lifetime special "Surviving Ramsey" cuz that fool was CRAZY! I mean damn he cut off Theon's dick and changed his name, skinned people alive, killed Rickon, and even fed his dead side chick to his dogs because she was "good meat." Wow. Definitely wasn't sad to see him go! Anywho, I must say I was glad to see that Sansa still got her crown and even her own country in the end. Well done Queen Sansa Stark.
BRIENNE OF TARTH. I. Love. Her. She was the realest, most loyal person on that show. No matter what situation she was in, who she was tasked with protecting or who she happened to fall into love and womanhood (wink, wink) with, Brienne kept it real. Brienne was a woman of her word and exemplified courage in a way I can honestly say I haven't seen on a screen since.... well ever.
Varays.
Varyas is a true lesson in minding your own business. Yes, Varays had his loyal moments, but for the most part he was a self-serving gossip. And how did he get around to all of those countries so damn fast?! Don't get me wrong, I admired his work ethic, but come on Varays, you obviously weren't that slick because everyone knew you were a snake.
RIP Varays.
Cersai Lannister. You love to hate her. I know I do! When Cersai lets out that sultry mix of shade and condescension, I I wanna slap her and take notes at the same damn time! Cersai had 3 children with her twin brother, wanted to have her brother killed simply because he was a dwarf and their mother died in child birth, she sent her son's wife to jail, killed the Dorne chicks and their daddy through the hound's brother and blew up a whole damn church/ courthouse because they had her messed up! I'm like what do I even call her? How do I categorize her?! Bad chick? Evil Witch? Great mother? horrible person? Evil Genius? Brother Fucker? Like who comes up with those type of torturous deaths?!
She did have her day though.
That episode when she did the butt naked walk of shame.
O.M.G. She deserves an Emmy for that one. I was intrigued, ashamed my damn self, sad, elated, disgusted, and surprisingly entertained all at once. I knew it was over with for the nun, but I had no idea she was gonna blow up half the city!
My only issue with Cersai's ending was I don't feel like it was G enough. Cersai was one of the coldest characters on the show and she died by rubble hugged up with her brother lover. What?! I needed a major death. This is Queen Cersai we're talking about! She wiped out half a city and recrowned herself Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, and all she got was crushed?! Really?!
RIP Cersai.
Speaking of Cersai, let's touch on those kiddies......
Joffery. Joffery. Joffery.
Joffery is exactly what happens when you are a brother fucker. You have a fucked up little demon seed that f's up every else's lives around them. Then this fool had the nerve to actually be king so that took his f'd upness to a whole nother level. I mean really Joffery. You had to humiliate everyone around you for sport!? Then you killed the redhead prostitute in a very inhumane way not too long after making her beat her friend very violently after Tyrrion bought them for you for the night. I must say,however, that I was tremendously pleased with Joffery's post nuptial demise. I was even more pleased when I found out that Grandma Tyrell was behind it! YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!
Fuck you very much Joffery. RIP.
Poor Tommen. Poor, Poor Tommen.
I liked Tommen. He was a good king. I do understand what the family meant by him being a good king and that being a problem. Tommen was soft and easily influenced. He was super sweet though and I'm sure Margery would have run that kingdom hook, line and sinker. I really liked her too, she had madd game lol. Margery knew exactly how to get what she wanted and throw a little shade at the same time. Grandma Tyrell taught her well.
RIP Margerery and Gma Tyrell, YAAASSSSSSS she went out like a G!
Marcella, well, I didn't get to know her very well since Tyrion had her shipped off to Dorne and when we met again she was dying in her daddy/ uncle's arms from a poisionous kiss from Mama Dorne. Toodles Marcella.
My boy The Hound. I really liked The Hound and I was pleased that he didn't actually die in the wilderness, but I kind of saw that coming lol. When he saved Sansa from being vicously raped and beaten he got much respect from me. Also, when he didn't hurt or rape Arya their whole time together, it gave me a real soft spot for him. I could see that he was a victim of his circumstances, but he was actually a pretty decent human being. I wanted him to live and be a part of the new Kingdom, but I understand that he had to take out his vendetta with his brother who happened to be Cersai's muscle for burning his face when they were children.
RIP The Hound Real Ninja in the room.
MY BOY TYRRION LANNISTER. REALEST NINJA IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So for those of you who do not know, Tyrrion Lannister was the realest person on that whole show. I mean come on, to be born a dwaf and tormented your whole life to be the King's hand not once, but twice. Granted, he was an alcholic, superfreak who killed his ex (which she deserved with her lying ass) and his rude ass dad, and who kept a snide remark on deck, but he was always the wisest man in the room. And although no one, and I mean no one took him seriously he rose above his circumstances to greatness. Further, that greatness allowed him to take and promote others with him in the new kingdom.
One thing I truly loved about Tyrrion Lannister was his ability to love. Most of his family were coldhearted politicians with money and power in mind. Although Tyrrion was smarter than most everyone on the show, he could have easily taken over Kings Landing many years before, but he didn't. He used his smarts and his soul to survive and make a better Kingdom for the whole kingdom.
I'm pleased to say there is no RIP for my boy Tyrrion because he's helping King Bran run the Six Kingdoms from his wheelchair since baby Dragon burned down the actual throne.
My girl Danaryas.....
I love me some Khaleesi! I really do. Am I sad that she did not get the Iron Throne? Yes I am, and No, I'm not.
I am sad that she did not ultimately get the Iron Throne because she truly exemplified "Starting from the bottom, now we're here" to the fullest extent This girl went from basically being a refugee sex slave for her ruthless, twisted brother, to a Dathraki wife that didn't even speak her husband's language, to an official Dragon Mother and Queen of a small, yet loyal group of people to stealing like 3 other kingdoms, and pretty much burning King's Landing to a crisp after watching her best friend get beheaded.
Wow. Talk about a life.
However, I believe that Targareyn blood does carry a bit of cray cray, so I strongly believe that if she had reigned over the Seven Kingdoms, she probably would have eventually gone madd just like her father. Sometimes power goes to people's heads and after all she had been through to get just a taste of that power was enough to send anyone on a vicious tailspin.
RIP Khaleesi, you lived and died like a real one.
And last but certainly not least, Jon Snow, Aegon Targaryn, the true heir to the Iron Throne.
Jon Snow was much GoT crush. I loved his heart and his thick black hair, especially when it was in a ponytail lol. But I digress. No, I did not like the fact that he killed Khaleesi, but I understood. With his heart being so big and Tyrrion using his smarts to tell Jon without telling Jon what needed to be done, I believe he did the right thing. He killed Khalessi for the betterment of all Seven Kingdoms and that's the type of man Jon is. He was willing to go above and beyond for his people at all costs, no matter what. I mean damn, he came back to life after getting killed by his own guys! Out of all the Real Ninjas in the room, I must say Jon Snow was the realest. This man was the true heir to the Iron Throne and didn't even want it because he loved Khaleesi and wanted to do right by people as one of those people.
Although it was ironic seeing Jon Snow end up where he started in the North, but hey, at least he was among his people.
And for all of those critics that hated the ending and wanted a new season 8, get over yourself, because in the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. Period.