In Webster's Dictionary, Mediation is defined as an "intervention in a dispute in order to resolve it" and "intervention in a process or relationship." In the legal world, Mediation is considered an Alternative Dispute Resolution, which allows parties to resolve their issues in a more diplomatic opposed to adversarial way.
As a Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator in Memphis, Tennessee, I must say Mediation is nothing short of a God send. Most of my life I wanted to be a Divorce attorney and bank in on other people's mistakes. No, I do not want to get divorced, but a lot of other people do, so why not help them along to the other side?! This belief carried me halfway through law school until my Nigerian friend Nikki (Yes, I had to mention the fact she's Nigerian because it's cool af to have a friend from another continent, and she makes the bomb-diggidy jellaf rice!) told me I was made for Criminal Defense law because I had the heart for it, even though I already knew I did not have the stomach...
My last year of law school, I took an alternative dispute resolution class and it changed my life. Not only was my Professor one of the coolest, sweetest people I've ever met, whose wife happened to be an AKA (Skee-Wee), but he introduced me to a brand new way of viewing the legal system, and ultimately, my whole life. The idea of sitting down like grown, mature adults and talking out issues and coming to a resolution together?!?! I was all here for it! This sounded like a cool ass kum-bye- yah opposed to a furious, fiery showdown between attorneys and a judge.
Fast forward 2 years and 3 failed bar attempts later.....
I have completed Jocelyn Wurzburg's Mediation training course a year before subsequent to failing the bar exam a second time. I fell in love with Joci and the mediation process all over again. However, for the next two years, Mediation returned to the back of my mind, while "what the hell am I doing with my life was in the front."
After my most recent bar attempt July 2016, I made an executive decision to sit down somewhere and take a breather. During my bar exam hiatus, I obtained a life, health and accident license, enrolled in graduate school for Psychology, got a dog, and picked up odd jobs to make ends meet. I endured severe financial hardship and had to adjust to being a grown ass woman with a law degree living at home with my mom. All the while mediation is still in the BACK of my mind.
On September 22, 2018 I turned 29 years old. Not only had I moved into my own place 1 month before my birthday, I felt my entire life shift. I realized that 29 meant damn near 30, and 30 means grown! 30 means no more excuses, no more time to waste. Yes, 30 is still considered young, and as long as the Lord gives me breath I am going to live my best life no matter my age. HOWEVER, my 20’s are almost behind me and my ass gots to get my life together! And what does that mean?! It meant I had to stop making excuses and woman the fuck up and handle my business!!! AND WTF DOES THAT MEAN?! It meant getting clear on who I really am and what I really want, because the truth is, I could no longer blame the bar exam, or my part- time jobs or even my pay check to pay check lifestyle for why I wasn’t happy. I could no longer look around and point any fingers as to why I was almost 30 years old and still skating on the high of a law degree I acquired almost 4 years ago! What was my purpose, what do I want to do everyday that will allow me fulfillment and a way to pay my bills?? DRUM ROLL PLEASE...... MEDIATION!
All that time I spent working 2-3 jobs at a time trying to make ends meet and that barely even happening, I completely pushed my true love to the side. While I was so focused on making a dollar, I let 2 whole years go by while all of my mediation schooling and business plans collected dust. I had to realize that my life was my own and nothing was going to change until I changed! Me, Myself, Nasha Lee Brown, JD.
So to me, Mediation means a fresh start, new challenges and a level up. No I have not given up on the bar exam, I’ll see her again in July 2019, but I will no longer blame her for why I am not able to serve as the loving, empathetic and real Mediator God called me to be.